At the Beach — October 10, 2014 at 5:00 am

Beach Etiquette

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Beach Etiquette
Okay folks, why can’t we all just get along? We’re on vacation, we’re lying on the beach and life is good. Problem is: there’s always someone who doesn’t understand the basic rules to Beach Etiquette. Well, let’s just go over a few of them, shall we?

Beach Chair Roulette
If staying at a big resort is your plan, you can also plan on playing beach chair roulette. Experienced players rise early and walk out on the beach, placing their towels and maybe a bottle of sunscreen and a magazine on or around a set of beach chairs, then take off. Now, most resorts have a rule written somewhere or other against this, but people play anyway. If you must play, at least follow the unwritten rules. It’s one thing to drop your towels and go to breakfast with a plan to return soon. What irks us the most is folks who drop towels, then go on a half day excursion and expect their seat to be open 4 hours later.

Watch that Frisbee
There’s nothing wrong with beach sports like volleyball and Frisbee, but there is a time and place for everything. Do you really think it’s a good idea to toss that thing over and through the crowd? Most beaches are big enough for everybody and believe it or not, some of just want to lay there.

It’s Not a Cat-box or an Ashtray
Just because they put sand in ashtrays doesn’t mean the beach is one big one. I am not going into the smoking or not argument here because I don’t really care what you do outdoors but there is some etiquette involved here. I don’t litter anything, anywhere and never understood those who do. If you can’t find a proper receptacle, save your butts in one spot, and then take them and all your other trash with you when you’re done, please.

There ought to be a Law
Have you ever seen Magilla Gorilla in a thong? I have, it was not pretty. I would never begrudge or insult someone with excessive body hair but the thong is another thing. Not to sound sexist but I’ve never complained about women wearing thongs and must admit I have actually seen one or two men who didn’t look too shabby in one. That’s out of hundreds or thousands I’ve seen so with those odds, I’m thinking there ought to be a law. I know the European men will never abide by a no-Speedo rule but can’t we, as the American trendsetters we are, all agree to it?

Shake it Baby
Some people don’t realize when they are leaving and shaking the sand off their towel that I’m laying right there. Please be aware of where you shake that sand. There’s nothing like picking up your margarita and thinking that sand around the lip is salt.

One Last Tip
If you’re staying at a resort with waiters on the beach, tip the guy. Even if it’s an all-inclusive that says no-tipping required, tip the guy. The rest of us are and we will all get better service if he’s happy. Heck, I tip the guy just because he has to wear long pants, a shirt, and socks and shoes while I’m in nothing but a thong.

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